The Heart's Focus:
"Having a Strong Center with a Balanced Foundation" - 11/12/09
In this article I'd like to touch on how to build an unshakable self-confidence that can always stand, despite whatever may happen to you in your life. Through my own learning and growing I have found that whatever a person places their focus and heart's desire on will determine the confidence and self-worth they feel in their lives. For instance, if your main goal in life is to become wealthy, and everything else in your life is relatively insignificant compared to this one main desire, then your overall quality of life and feelings of self-worth and satisfaction will fluctuate in relation to how well you are doing financially. For another person, such as a professional music artist, their heart's main focus will very likely be on producing quality music. If the artist is successful (according to their own perception) in producing good music, then their happiness and feelings of worth and satisfaction will also respond in accord.
Now most of us already place our heart's focus in multiple areas, which is very wise! For instance, it is smart to not only have mental goals such as financial and career aspirations, but also physical goals, relationship goals, and spiritual goals. When your confidence and self-worth are drawn from a number of areas of focus, you will have a more well-rounded foundation from which your satisfaction will be drawn from. As I have found in my own life, when one particular area becomes largely disproportionate to the others in terms of how much focus it has in your heart, then you are putting yourself in a very risky position if and when that area is faced with a change. In my own life, I have learned this particularly in the area of relationships and this is something that I believe most other people can probably relate to in their own lives.
You see, we live in a world of change. Everything in the physical world will change and ultimately pass on. If you make anything, whether it be a person, exercise goal, or even a career goal the center of your heart's attention, you may be setting yourself up for incredible upset, disappointment, and severe loss of confidence and satisfaction when that particular area changes or fails to live up to your current expectations. I'm sure you've known someone who has either lost a loved one, ran into a bump in the road in their relationship, or even encountered the end of that loving relationship. If a relationship like this does come to an end, what happens afterwards if that person was the center of their world, their happiness, and their aspirations? Well, quite simply there will be a period of upset while the heart's focus will need to be redirected into something new. Now in this particular case, would it be wise to fill that void by immediately making another relationship the center of that person’s world again? Doing so may ease the loss temporarily, but the foundational focus of the heart is still at risk for even greater and greater risk now as that person goes from one relationship to another and the hurt accumulates an even larger and larger emotional debt. So what would be the best way to approach this or any other area where upset or disproportion exists? Quite simply it would be wise to do two things:
First, to refocus the heart into a number of more balanced areas. This will include mental goals, such as financial aspirations, reading a new book, or striving for a promotion in your career. Additionally, you will have social goals, such as a friendships, your relations to your family and co-workers, and also a significant other if you choose to have one. Third, is your physical goals which include things like exercise, diet, and overall health.
Second, at the center of this entire foundation should be that person’s relation, purpose, or connection to something much greater and long-lasting than just their own self. For the sake of simplicity, we will call this central area “spirit”. If you believe in God, this should include your purpose and relation with your creator. If your belief is in things which are much more physical, then you can still extend this central area to a purpose, ideal, or principle that involves something much larger than yourself. This might be finding a cause like encouraging renewable energy or recycling that will make the world a better place for not only those around you now, but for those who will live after you. In this case though, it would be wise to base your level of satisfaction not on the outcome itself.. such as how many green energy plants the world has built by a given year, but rather on the principle or concept of sustainability, or the idea of encouraging others, or of the intention of helping others through a specific, global aspiration such as building renewable energy plants, but not on the green energy plants themselves. By focusing on those principles which will last, even if you don’t want to label this area “God”, it will still give the spiritual area of the heart some fulfillment in a purpose, principle, or ideal that will outlast its own desires and continue to live-on afterwards in other people.
Doing the things outlined above can help you create a strong center to a diverse foundation that will not be as easily shaken by the day to day ups and downs in your other areas of immediate focus which are only bound to change as all physical, mental, and social things in this world do. The spiritual center of your heart should involve an everlasting concept, a truth that will never change. And remember that ultimately no one can choose your heart's focus but you! So good wishes and blessings to however and wherever you choose direct your heart’s focus from this point forward! I wish you happiness and ever-lasting fulfillment!