STEP 11 of 12: Building Self-Confidence On A Strong Foundation
A Warning About Building Your Confidence Upon Success Alone!
Allow me to be real with you here. Bad things are going to happen to you. No matter how hard you try, there are still going to be some tremendous difficulties you’ll have to face in your lifetime, and ultimately you are even going to die. In case you haven't noticed, everything in this world changes, and is temporary. So using anything temporary as the foundation for your confidence means you are building it upon something that ultimately will not last.
If you want a self-confidence that lasts and remains strong despite whatever situation you may find yourself in, then you need to build it upon a concept that is eternal and limitless. Hey, if you’re going to invest all this time and energy in building something up, why not make it something that is sure to prevail in any situation life can throw at you? In my case, this eternal foundation is my relationship with God. Most people already have a belief in something eternal in one form or another, though there may be differences in your chosen faith. I have come to know God through Christianity, therefore these quotes and examples below will be from The Bible. This may not be your specific belief and I respect that. Even if that's the case though, in general, most mainstream religions share these same basic concepts. These truths of real life are lasting, and can help unlock doorways to the limitless! Since our inward beliefs influence our outward results in self-confidence building, I think it makes sense that these same basic concepts are true on a larger scale too. Taking this to an even deeper level, you can ensure that you are building your confidence upon a strong foundation that you believe will last regardless of anything that may change.
You see, it is my understanding that God wants you to succeed and feel self-confident, but there is a wise way and a not so wise way to do it. Here is what The Bible has to say about this:
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8
By building a relationship with God and then using that as the foundation from which to work on building your self-confidence, you are working towards something lasting and flexible in this ever-changing world, and even for whatever follows.
Conversely, The Bible warns of the dangers of drawing that same self-confidence from a pure, worldly standpoint, where the heart is motivated by the ego or things of self. Right before that previous verse, Jeremiah 17:5-6 also states that:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a stale land where no one lives.”
Since everything in the world is changing and temporary,this outcome is the only one that makes sense if you've built your confidence solely upon what changes. It is definitely possible to build our self-confidence solely on our physical abilities for a time, but it is risky and vulnerable. We see it happen in people of all walks of life; From an egotistical star athlete who consistently relishes in their own successes year after year, to the dominating business titan who draw millions and millions of dollars into their life with seeming ease, but falls in love with that success alone. The success itself becomes the love, but that love is built upon something that ultimately won't last. Is it still possible to build your confidence this way? Most certainly! But is it the wisest way? Is it good for your soul which is eternal to be built upon something that is temporary? Is it immune to the changes in this world? What happens to everything you’ve built upon that ability if the ability itself gets crushed by something?
Unfortunately, some people see no reason for looking deeper. They are quite happy building on and drawing from their own successes from an immediate, surface-level viewpoint. They place their trust and confidence in those abilities and successes alone, and let those things define who they are, and ultimately that is where their heart then belongs. That is a risky and temporary place to be. You can use the techniques found here and elsewhere as much as you’d like, but unless the foundation for all those techniques is built upon something deeper and more eternal, everything you’ve built can be shattered in seconds. There are going to be storms in this world, and building your confidence solely in the abilities and successes themselves is akin to building your house out of glass. It may stand for awhile, but sooner or later a storm will come and the framework will be tested. Look deeper within yourself to find what lasts, and build upon that.
What are your ultimate, eternal beliefs? Are those beliefs a part of the self-confidence techniques you are using? Do you want them to be?